time.

okay so here it is. sometimes i get this overwhelmed feeling when i sit there and think about all the things that need to get done. the responsibilities that come with being a grown up. car insurance, health insurance, savings accounts, rent, and all the little things that break and you need to fix in between. it's overwhelming to me, it really is. so on thursday night i have this feeling, and i miss my family, and oddly...i miss my childhood.

it scared me for those couple hours i was dwelling on it, thinking about how fast time is going. it felt depressing to me that growing up IS inevitable and you can't stop it no matter what. i was thinking about little babies and how fast they grow and soon they're toddlers to children to adolescents to teenagers to adults. our life is completely determined by time. it seems like we don't have enough time. it really is amazing to me that we can't beat it, we can't fight it, we can't overcome it. time changes us, and we can never go back to a previous time in our life...and if we could, it probably wouldn't be the same.

two things i have learned about that fact:

one, cherish every special moment you have...because time is ticking and that moment will soon be over. if you are single, enjoy that singlehood and time you spend with your best friends; if you are in a relationship, enjoy sharing that deep connection with a person; if you are young, enjoy the beauty and adventure in life; if you are old, enjoy the experience you've built and the wisdom you've gained. appreciate where you are, what you have, and don't let any of it pass you by without some gratitude in your heart. the reason i say this, is because i miss many different stages in my life. i miss high school and hanging out with the most amazing friends every single day, i miss my childhood and special memories with my beautiful family, i miss college and what God taught me through the whole journey...and now here i am, engaged and wishing that time would speed up to the wedding. well, i'm sure someday i am going to miss this special moment in my life too. so i'm going to cherish it. and quit letting the moment pass me by all too soon.

the second, and more important thing i have learned is this, pay close attention. i know that time may be winning in this life, but will never be an issue in the life to come. eternity. timeless, never ending, forever, infinity. this is what's to come. and on top of that, if you know Jesus, you get ALL the time in the world (and beyond) to brisk in perfection, happiness, joy, NO TEARS. i know that life is hard, and sometimes we WANT to speed up time...but in Heaven, there is no pain. there is only God and His Children and we'll never have to miss or long for anything ever again.

this gives me hope amidst my random freak-outs about growing up. each day is a day i'm closer to spending with my Lord in Heaven, and i know that i'm always a child to Him. so time may not seem like our friend in this life, but we get an abundant supply of it in the next. may that drive you to know Jesus more, and long for your true Home. choose Jesus, choose Heaven, choose Forever.