i'm going to keep this short. i have class in an hour, and i'm not quite ready yet. ohhh well.

last night was great. andrea and i went up to horsetooth and took a short hiking trail to the cliffs overlooking the reservoir. we brought our bibles and journals, and she helped me go over the chapters i'd memorized in the past which i TOTALLY did not remember very well!! i really need to be disciplined in memorizing those chapters, and not letting them slip away from me after all that hard work. so that's what i'm going to have zach keep me accountable in when we talk on the phone. going over those verses. the spot we sat at last night was amazing. i took some pictures but they're not uploaded. God gives such good gifts, His creation is amazing.

today i have a presentation. i'm not too worried about it. i have to leave class early so i can babysit lincoln and ellie. so there's that. :) then i babysit them again tonight. it's also my night to clean the kitchen floors and the bathrooms. i would do laundry but the load isn't big enough so i'm not going to. :) i really love living with the Schmidt family. they are amazing, and so fun.

last night i got the privilege of helping lyndsey paint her kitchen because her husband was out of town. so andrea, jenn and i all were painting the kitchen there. it was nice because i got to ask them all these quetions i have about why they homeschool or things that i just wonder about because i'm so stubborn and don't want to do what every other Christian is doing! haha. zach always tells me there's wisdom in certain decisions which is why it seems like "the thing to do" but it was cool to hear the reason these women decided to homeschool their kids. i think andrea and i learned a lot from them. not to mention we laughed a LOT. plus they gave me great wedding ideas. which is still a way in the future, but i should totally start taking notes or something. :)

well i know today is going to be a good day. i can tell by the sunshine peering in my window. i love the sun. i love God.

1 Corinthians 15:58

i just wanna write about God's grace, because i've experienced it more than ever today. (and last night.)

the story in short is: i was driving home last night and my tire popped. Praise God i was only a block from home so i drove it SLOWLY back to the house, and took a look at the super-de-duper flat tire of mine. i woke up this morning dreading the fact that i had to attempt to fix a flat tire on my own. anyways, i go at it this morning, and again, BY GOD'S GRACE i remembered how to change a tire from watching it be changed two times. i know that seems silly guys, but really, this is something that was big for me. so i change the tire, and am extremely hesitant to actually DRIVE on it to discount tire. i don't have a whole lot of money either, but again by the grace of God it was cheap and i got a warantee on all four tires in case that ever happens again! so out of this situation that i could've looked at as a curse, God blessed me with a lifetime warantee on all four tires! AND i almost forgot to mention that today was a day when i didn't have class! my teacher decided to give us wednesday off because we are ahead of schedule. so i had the time to go fix my tire, without having to miss class and be stressed out. i just think God is so kind to watch over his children. He's the best Dad ever.

it's been cool to see this summer unfold into another great summer. i was really worried the first couple of weeks that it was going to be a bad one in comparison to my summer in Provo. i'm learning first of all not to compare, and second of all to keep seeking God and not give up in it. i also feel blessed at the blossoming friendships this year! i love friendships that are God centered and i really feel like God has given me those friends to run hard with this summer and fall more in love with Him in.

it's starting to become more real to me that i'm moving to utah in six months. i'm halfway there. that's crazy how fast it's going. i really want to make the most of this unique time in my life where i can focus solely on God! what a beautiful life. God is good. all the time. i just want His name to be famous. i don't want to forget where i've been before i knew Him or even when i let Him slip away from me. He was always there, and i know He always will be. i want that to be the reason my heart beats, the reason i live, the reason i breathe, and the reason i love. i want more Christ in me, the hope of Glory.

this summer really is shaping up to be a good one. thanks for your Good and Simple gifts, Father God. You are so good.

1 Corinthians 15:58b (ish) "Stand Firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."

AMEN.

JESUS.

this world is so corrupt and religion is so corrupt and we as humans are so corrupt. depressing start to a blog post, i'm aware of this. i'm struggling with how we skew the image of Christ because we're sinful in nature. i know it's inevitable, but i want Christ to shine through every Christian. i want us all to REALLY love God, and to have a REAL relationship with Him.

i just know God's heart breaks for sin. sin destroys. sin cannot be hidden, it will catch up with us whether in this life or after we die. He sees it all. and i know that there will be justice.

in the meantime i want to focus on myself and my life and make sure that i am REALLY loving people and that i am REALLY loving God. not in a lukewarm or "routine" way. i mean, consumed by Him. i don't want to be indifferent about Christ. and i DON'T want religion. you can take your religion somewhere else. i want a meaningful relationship with my Lord and Savior, my Best Friend, the one who will never let me down. He's the one that i can spill my guts out to and it be a safe place, He's the one that i can send my requests to and know that it was heard, He's the one who has my best interest at heart, He's the one that loves me even though i'm a wretched sinner. He's UNBELIEVABLE. if we all just sat down to think about who He REALLY is and what He REALLY is offering us (so much more than fire-insurance, you guys.) how could anyone ever reject that??

i know this world has distorted the image of Him. i know people will read this and think that's not that God or Jesus they've been exposed to. but it's TRUE. if you don't believe me, read for yourself. the Bible is beautiful and purposeful and most importantly, true. someday we're going to see. and someday we're going to be able to rest in His arms if we choose Him now, and find understanding in anything right now that we just don't understand.

i want Jesus in everything. i want to cast my cares, frustrations, and worries on Him.
i don't want to love Jesus in a routine way, in a distant way. i want to be passionate about Him who died in place for me. and i want to always be pointing to Him. NOTHING ELSE, ever. amen.

come on rain!

i'm hoping for a thunderstorm...it's a nice summer day but the clouds are rolling in and you know what that means. :)

thunder makes me happy, because i think of how POWERFUL God is. that's really all there is to it. i am enthralled in them. i can't look away. God is so mysterious and powerful. how amazing that He saved a wretch like me.

on a different note, i'm babysitting the kids as they nap. all this requires of me is to be here. :) i cook dinner tonight for the family. gotta practice the whole mother thing. i feel blessed for this opportunity to live with the Schmidt fam. great people!

aaaand zach and i made plans for his next trip out here which is in less than two weeks! i love how often we've seen each other! it's wonderful to me, that's the truth. so hopefully him, scrib, and hayd are coming out next weekend (the 18th!) i would love that with all my heart. i can't believe we're halfway through the year and i will be in utah in six to seven months. what a happy life.

i hear a waking child. goodbye!

LOVE.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, WHO LOVED ME and gave himself for me. -Galatians 2:20

But God demonstrates HIS OWN LOVE for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. -Romans 5:8

This is love: not that we loved God, but that HE LOVED US and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. -1 John 4:10

And so we know and rely on the LOVE GOD HAS FOR US. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. -1 John 4:16

For God SO LOVED the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.-John 3:16


Notice a theme? I hope so.

I was sitting outside reading Chapter 3 of "Don't Waste Your Life" by John Piper, basking in the beautiful rays of the sun...hoping to hear from my Love. See, lately I have been struggling with feeling His presence, and it has been my prayer request to feel Him as I have before. Anyways, as I'm nearing to the end of the chapter I come across the top verse listed, Galatians 2:20, I stopped and let this word "love" sink in.

Yes, the four-letter-word that supposedly holds so much meaning, right? I have struggled with this word as of late, because I feel like we toss it around without counting the heaviness it truly holds. LOVE. Why does God's love for me not HIT me like it should? I want it to rock my world, give me comfort, amazement, butterflies, contentment.

I'm in love with my boyfriend. I feel loved by him. I feel pursued by him. This love is real to me, it comforts me. I delight in it. There is a connection there. But it can't save me, nor will it.

HOW MUCH MORE SHOULD I FEEL LOVED AND PURSUED BY THE ONE WHO CREATED ME, DIED FOR ME, AND LEADS ME TO GOOD THINGS IN THIS LIFE? Oh, the love of God.

You know, I still don't understand this love, but the Bible talks about it all the time. I want to seek to know this love more and more. I want to believe it. I want to reciprocate it. (Though I will never be able to in comparison to my God.) He loved me when I didn't even want anything to do with Him. He loves me still when I fall short of His perfect standard. He loves me though I am just one of six billion. He delights in me, He provides for me, He rejoices over me, He saved me. And I get an eternity to bask in His love, something that no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived.

Let this love penetrate your soul.