to all girls, everywhere.

this is for girls, all girls...fearfully and wonderfully made by the Creator of Everything.

sometimes it's hard to feel beautiful. i mean, seriously look around and everywhere you look there is always going to be someone more "worldly" beautiful. and i am the worst of all at comparing myself. it's so easy to look confident on the outside...however that isn't necessarily how i feel. a woman feeling beautiful is hard in a world where there is such a fine and impossible standard for beauty. maybe that's not true, maybe it's only a struggle for some, or maybe only me. but i feel like Satan uses these comparison games: actresses, models, other girls...anything to get us feeling down on ourselves.

well because it's a particular struggle in this moment, i decided to read my Bible at this late (or early) hour of 1 am. this is what i found:

"You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace. How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much more pleasing is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your perfume than any spice!" -song of songs 4:9-10

i literally am in tears at this, because it's God's Holy Bible, so it's true. God is so enthralled by you, my sister. He LITERALLY thinks you are a prized possession, the MOST beautiful thing! FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made. i don't even get this, trust me, i feel not good enough all the time. i feel like i'm falling short in comparison to every other girl ALL the TIME. i know it's going to take a lot more than writing a blog to really pound this in my head. but tonight, in this moment, i feel humbled. i feel like God thinks i am beautiful. and that is everything. His Love is so Perfect. His Love is Sustaining. His opinion is Worthy!

every girl wants to feel like she is the most beautiful to someone, and guess what? we are. God truly is wrapped up in your beauty, He really does think you are the most beautiful. His Love is SO BIG that He can think we are all the most beautiful, and it would be true...it's infinite. You can divide it and it's still infinity love, ALL for you. He does not show favoritism. it's hard, i know, not to look at this world and think about what beautiful should look like. it's hard not to look around at other people and not feel good enough, or think "if only i looked like her, then i would be loved." but the truth is, you are loved with a Perfect Love. you can be secure because of an Unfailing Promise. you ARE Beautiful because GOD MADE YOU FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY. now we just need to let it sink in, and believe it. jealousy is ugly, and insecurity is a trap. don't forget your identity and who God says you are.

want to be truly beautiful? seek God and be changed by Him. that is real beauty, to the Only One who matters. i would rather be Beautiful in His eyes forever than to be beautiful by the standards of this world for a short while.

Charm is deceptive and beauty is FLEETING; BUT A WOMAN WHO FEARS THE LORD IS TO BE PRAISED. -Proverbs 31:30

things that make me excited.

-making a married blog. i know it's dorky, but it will be so fun to write all about our newlywed adventures in here, since blogging is such a neat way to express yourself. not to mention, easy.
-finding a place to live, and decorating it so it feels like home. we looked at apartments today, and we want to look at duplexes, etc. i can't wait to see where God leads us because i know it will be perfect. i am so excited to be roomies with zach, cause he's pretty neat. :)
-becoming a better cook. i made stuffed peppers last night and i just want to keep trying new things left and right!
-finding a more secure identity in God as my Father. it's so easy to want to find validity in other people's opinions of me, but i just want to grow more and more confident in who God says i am.
-growing deeper friendships with my sisters in Utah. i just want to find women i can run hard with, and be challenged by. i never want to sit still in my walk with God!
-getting a dog...sooner. my uncle and aunt have 2 golden retrievers who just had 8 puppies this week! talk about TEMPTING. zach and i are discussing, but they are my #2 favorite dog, and it would be lovely keeping them in the family. i want a little baby pup so bad. :)
-summer dresses. i want sunshine on my legs again. i love the warmth on my skin, and i just crave the nice weather.
-enjoying working out. i hear once you keep doing it for a long enough time, you start to like it. wellll, i still don't. :) but we've been consistent in going 3-4 times a week and i just want to get toned up for the wedding, jamaica, and just LIFE. its sad when your metabolism decides to stop working as well, to be honest.
-painting. i love painting outside in the summer, and i just want that to happen again.
-getting my passport. that should be coming in 4-6 weeks, and i'm excited to feel "official" haha.
-seeing my colorado friends. how lucky i get to look forward to going home to things like a bridal shower, and bachelorette party with my closest friends. i feel blessed they are so supportive of me, and making this engagement such a happy one.
-juuust life and livin' it. :)