start of summer.

sometimes i start writing in this thing, not even sure what i will say. but it'll be interesting to see where this takes me.

it's officially summer, and what am i doing? going to school.
i have a feeling God is going to be challenging me this summer just without the break that i'm used to, and the fun that i want to have. don't get me wrong, it'll still be fun. it'll just be a lot of work too.

on a happy note, i'm moved in with the wonderful and amazing Schmidt family! it's so nice to be around young kids again, and i love seeing the way this family functions and how they parent, and love the Lord and honor Him through their lives. i've only been here a few days, but i do enjoy it so far! i have this cute little bedroom and bathroom in the basement and i get to cook on sunday nights and babysit on thursday nights! not a bad deal at ALL.

okay, so last weekend i went to utah. BEST TIME EVER. seriously, i love that place!! i want to be there so bad, my heart is checked out and i know that's bad! it's just so hard because every time i go there i just feel like everything is how it's intended to be! i love my boyfriend, i love my friends there, i love the church there, i love the breathtaking mountains. utah is gonna be my home, and i'm really looking forward to that. i will need God's grace to get through the waiting process! i brought kirsten and andrea who both absolutely loved it there too, which is happy. i always try to recruit people to move there. it's funny to me. haha.

tonight we have a prayer night with infusion, i'm tired but decided to go. life is keeping me busy, but God has been really good and i've felt Him close lately. there is just something about reading your Bible outside. i want Him closer though. i feel so hungry for Him lately. i'm glad about that.

blue skies are coming.

man, i sure am close to finishing finals and moving out and then my roadtrip to utah! I AM SO EXCITED.
i have been so stressed out with school and moving, while keeping some stuff out that i'll be taking on my roadtrip. it may be bad timing, but it's really the ONLY time i can get out there since i start summer school next week.

i feel super blessed to be living with the schmidt family. they are so great, and i think i'll learn a lot! it's a blessing to be living for free too, and save up some money for my future in utah and all that God has for me.

i have been going through a trial of trusting God with financial things that i've really noticed lately. i always thought i was the girl that didn't care about money at all, the girl that didn't want a lot of it. however, with zach going back to school and unemployed recently, i've been so nervous about what is going to happen or how we're going to start out. but it's been cool to see his faith and trust in God and his comfort in the unknown, which is something i am SO BAD AT. i feel blessed that God made us different and in that sense we'll help each other through our differences and similarities. i also think it's cool that God is refining me NOW rather than later. i know in my head there is nothing to worry about, but it hasn't hit my heart yet. i want heart-knowledge. i know it'll all work out, and i'm excited to see what God has for zach and i in the future. i'm confident He'll lead us, i just need to not be anxious.

i've found a new obsession with mumford & sons. what a GOOD band!!! listen to them if you haven't yet. so good.

life is good, i want to count my blessings more. tonight we're going to new belgium and then hu-hot to celebrate janet, and her servants heart of leading the team for so long. i'm nervous that i am the only girl leader right now but i feel blessed to have andrea as an apprentice and such awesome men leading the team. God's grace is sufficient, and our team is undergoing a lot of changes but i trust God and just want people to fall in love with Him more through team. i'm also going to sundance tonight. it's a country line-dancing place where allison, jenni and i used to go ALL the time. so al and i are going to go with two of our friends, kira and jene. we haven't been this whole school year so decided to go on the last week of school (ever for allison! crrrazy!) so that will be fun.

well, i better go start the moving process. goodbye for now!

thirst.

Jesus replied, "People soon become thirsty again after drinking this water. But the water I give them takes away thirst altogether. It becomes a perpetual spring within them, giving them eternal life."
"Please sir," the woman said, "give me some of that water! Then I'll never be thirsty again, and I won't have to come here to haul water." John 4:13-15

I read this today and it really stuck with me. We look to this world to fill our void, but no matter what we get out of this world, we are constantly wanting and looking for more. I say this a lot, but nothing of this world satisfies: no materials, no relationships, no success, no money. This woman gets it. She didn't need any convincing. Jesus is telling us what the answer is, and she is asking for it without holding back. I want this heart, I want this longing. I don't want to thirst for things of this world, but for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ only. And what a blessing that He doesn't hold back anything from us.

Drink it in. :)

great weekend.

man, what a great weekend!

i was blessed to see zach, and be refreshed by good talks and happy times. he's fun. :) hayden and rob came out too. on friday we went to church and then to the rio for margaritas, then ended up at the luscious nectar (weird name, i know.) since the rio closed at 11! it was lame because the jazz beat the nuggets and i don't even really want to talk about it. so we won't. :)

saturday morning we had breakfast at my house with my parents and grandparents who were in town seeing my little sister's play. that was entertaining in itself because my grandpa is the weirdest most hilarious guy ever. plus hayden is really funny too. haha. then we got ready for our day, lounged around the house a bit, but headed to starbucks to see maddie working, and then to chipotle so rob could try his half chicken half steak burrito masterpiece. the two boys went to denver, and zach and i got to go back home and hang out together until becky's play that night. it was really fun. when we got back from the play we hung out with my parents a bit too, which was fun and relaxing.

sunday we headed back up to fort collins early (except we were running late!) to make it for church. after church we got lunch with friends at big city burrito. (hayden and rob's first time!) then we went to phil's to watch the jazz/lakers game (UGH!) and play settlers, and grill some italian sausages. phil was a great host to the guys, it was nice. then they left around 7 and i basically went home, played around on garage band a bit (hayden inspired me) but then crashed, due to the lack of sleep this weekend.

it is sad whenever zach leaves, because i just don't like for that to happen. however, this time was a bit easier only since i know i am roadtripping out to utah with two of my favorite girls in 11 days now!!! THAT WILL BE SO MUCH FUN! i'm going to a wedding with zach friday night so the girls will be hanging out with heather in provo which is going to be so fun for them. then on saturday i want to show them salt lake city and take them to church out there, and we'll head home early sunday since i start summer school the next day. it'll be a short trip but it will be fun. i have to count everything God is giving me as a blessing, and not a curse. i am thankful that zach and i have gotten through a semester and it was bearable and it went by sort of fast so after summer, just one more semester of this nonsense and then i'll be in utah with him. that excites me!

okay. homework calls my name.

encouragement.

For the LORD God is our light and protector. He gives grace and glory. No good thing will the LORD withhold from those who do what is right. -Psalm 84:11

rest in THAT, Christian.

philippians 2:3, matthew 5:16 and stuff.

what a humbling night. God is so so good.

tonight at small group we were to go off on our own and evaluate our walk with God. i encourage everyone to do this. here are the questions that were asked:
-How is my relationship with Jesus? Is my own personal spiritual life vibrant and active or dull and dying?
-What has been my experience this semester being in the word and praying? Why is it this way?
-Am I struggling with some sin in my life? What do I need to do about it?
-What fruit have I seen from God's spirit living inside me?
-What has God shown me about Himself this semester? What about him do I still struggle with?
-Have I surrendered everything of me to God? What am I hanging on to still? Is there a gospel other than the gospel of God's grace that I believe to find safety or hope or fulfillment?
-How's my humility?
-How have I done at loving my brothers and sisters in Christ? Have I actively built them up? Have I been praying for them? Do I share in their burdens and trials as I share mine with them? Have I been laying down my life for them?
-Am I submitting to my leaders in a God honoring way and how can I make it a joy for them to lead me?
-Where is my faith leading me? What are my visions and goals for the future? What do I need to do now to accomplish these things?
-Are there circumstances in my life that are changing and how do I respond to these changes? Who should I seek counsel from about my decisions?

talk about some convicting stuff. pretty much EVERY question convicts me. i never want to settle with who i am, or where i'm at with God. i have soo much to work on, and i want to know God so so so much better. i just realized how selfish i am, and how i live for myself and not for Christ. this has to change. i think of this verse:
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. -Phil. 2:3


i want my life to reflect Christ. i feel like God is putting that on my heart NOW more than ever. i want to witness through my life. i want to love selflessly. i want to be humble. i want to be filled with the Holy Spirit in every area of my life. i owe Him my life because He died for me. i want Jesus first. i want to cling to Him. He is the answer to everything.

JESUS IS GOOD.

romans 8:28

"And we know that in all things God works together for the good of those who love him."
-Romans 8:28

well? today has been quite a day. not in the best way but i'm trusting God to the best of my ability. i'm praying for faith. i am trying to not take anything in my own hands. i know i'm being vague, by the way. but that's what happens when you blog. you can't share every little detail of your life. haha. it mostly is just fears for the future, financial stuff you know?

i trust my Father is taking care of His children. i trust He has better plans. i believe He is testing us to see where our hearts are at, and i know i want to prove faithful. i know i have a long long long ways to go when it comes to trusting God, but He's never let me down. and i'm confident He never will.

anyways, that's been today. but God is good. so why worry?

last night was a pretty cool thing. we have been focusing on outreach in the dorms, so last night a couple of us passed out cookies to people in the dorms and handed out tracts as well. we got some neat responses, one guy was assuring us that we made his whole day. :) a few people asked some questions about what church we go to, so that was neat to get the word out there. it's cool to think someday i will get to stand face to face with God and hear Him say, "well done, my good and faithful servant." every little thing we do matters, even passing out cookies for an hour. :) what is funny is i wasn't looking forward to doing it, i wanted to be selfish and get some sleep. but in giving up that extra hour of my precious sleep, God really blessed my evening.

hm, short vague post. whoops, oh well. :)